I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
