This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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