I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
