is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize