Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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