Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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