Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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