So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
