his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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