this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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