yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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