# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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