Screwed.edu
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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