I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
