Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this will be a night to untag.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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