I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
