Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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