You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
