my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
