The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
