You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
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