my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize