You can't special order awesome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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