I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
sarcasm needs its own font
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize