my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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