awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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