Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
