At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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