I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
