the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
