Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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