I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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