A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I pour the whiskey from now on
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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