I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
