you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize