ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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