As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
