Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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