woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize