my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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