She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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