Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
