drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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