He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
