Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
