haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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