we have pet lesbian snakes
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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