My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I won't apologize to a one balled man
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
