I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize