I will die if light touches me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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