oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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