so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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