nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
