living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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