physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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