Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
