Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
