in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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