he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
