I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
