Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
