yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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