i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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