her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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