Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
