You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize