We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
